Agnes

I love that election day here is a national holiday.   There’s no school...no work...no open grocery stores...
just children playing outside and people waiting in lines at the 27,000 polling stations around the country.

We spent the afternoon having lunch at Angie’s mother’s house.   Angie is one of the medical students we’re staying with here in Nairobi, and when her mother, Agnes, dropped by the apartment last week she insisted that we all come to her home for lunch before leaving the city.   Today turned out to be the day.

We arrived at Agnes’ house at about 1:30, and were greeted with open arms, glasses of passion fruit juice, and a spread of food so massive I wondered if a dozen other people were expected.
They weren’t.
Agnes, a jovial woman with kind eyes, exudes a sense of caring and empathy.   When you meet her, you get the sense that you’re in the presence of a truly good and gentle human being.  She smiles widely and often - a smile that reveals thick laugh lines and defined cheekbones.  She offers hugs to anyone and everyone, and yet has a weathered face that clearly has seen much.  I found myself really wanting to hear about her experiences, her life.    And I got to!

She proudly cast her vote at dawn, and then spent the rest of the morning preparing a delicious traditional Kikuyu meal for us (her family comes from the Kikuyu Tribe in Kenya).

Over lunch we heard stories about the time Mercy’s mother found a leopard lazing on her living room carpet, and the time Agnes found monkeys righteously sitting in her dining room eating her fruit.
Both incidents occurred in the middle of Nairobi, and quite honestly I can’t fathom experiencing either one.

But then we heard more about what Agnes does for a living.   She’s a practicing psychologist in Nairobi, focusing mainly on relationship counseling and people with addictions.   But that’s only part of her livelihood.   She also has a contract with the United Nations – working for Kenya’s National Commission on Gender and Development.   Her focus is on trying to stop violence against women and children.   No small task in Kenya, she leads teams around the country that spend weeks, sometimes months at a time raising awareness in villages that violence against women and children is wrong and should be discussed.   Apparently rape, other sexual abuses and physical beatings are not uncommon in parts of Kenya.  The subject is taboo, and therefore not discussed or reported.   Agnes has spent the last few years taking action – creating specific gender-based violence and domestic violence desks at local police stations, coordinating rallies and discussion groups, and generally educating both men and women about the realities of such abuses and the corresponding long term repercussions.   Think of the difference this woman is making!

She described other issues women in Kenya face, too.   Issues such as the fact that many girls in Kenya are forced to miss school one week per month.   Why?  Because they have nothing to use as sanitary protection when they get their periods.   Another project Agnes has been working on is to get these girls the items they need, so they can keep up with their studies, not be mocked or abused, and grow into confident young women.

With every story my eyes grew wider and wider, until 100% of my energy was being devoted to NOT bursting into tears on the spot.   Some of the things we’ve seen here are so terrible, so hard, and yet just when I feel defeated I meet people like Agnes who are doing such good, meaningful work, making a significant difference in the lives of many.   I sat there feeling foolish – what am I doing that means anything or that makes any sort of difference?   My basic pre-med classes, many of which I detest and yet worry endlessly about, and my job that, let’s face it, is really about making or keeping other people an overabundance of money - both seem embarrassingly indulgent.   I suddenly felt the urge to drop everything, stay here and go to work with Agnes.    Maybe not the most practical idea I’ve ever had, but I’m not exactly known for having practical ideas.
And then, again, I thought I might cry.
I hate crying.

Our taxi home showed up at that moment.   We told Agnes that we really wanted to find a way to help her and her efforts in some way.  
I’m not sure yet what that will look like, but we’ll find a way.